Daniels Industries Presents: The DI-PDP Pocket Turret [Model X-37.2B]!

DANIELS INDUSTRIES

is proud to present:

The DI-PDP Pocket Turret [Model X-37.2B]!

Perfect for dinner parties with your annoying neighbors!

Daniels Industries, maker of the famous DI-1.22GWEP5K Energy Pump and the Skybrawler Combat Suit, is proud to bring you our latest and greatest creation, the DI-PDP Pocket Turret [Model X-37.2B]! The PDP comes fully equipped with a self-generating ammunition chamber, capable of producing one face-exploding ball of energy every 2/3 of a second! Each of our lovingly crafted face-exploding energy balls comes complete with a homing device. It'll destroy your enemies!* Guaranteed, or your money back!**

ALL FOR THE LOW-LOW PRICE OF $143,997.98!

BUT WAIT! THERE'S MORE!

The PDP is fully upgradeable and customizable! If you would like YOUR PDP to shoot EVEN FASTER and EVEN HARDER, mail us a hefty quantity of steel scraps, hyper-explosive chemicals, bacon, and $400,000. We'll send you the parts you need to EXPLODINATE THE BADDERTONS!™

CALL NOW and receive a complementary apple, valued at $0.89.

THIS DEAL WILL GO DOWN IN HISTORY!

Daniels Industries: We make things.™

* May also destroy your friends.

** Not a guarantee. We will not refund any money.