is proud to present:
The DI-PDP Pocket Turret [Model X-37.2B]!
|Perfect for dinner parties with your annoying neighbors!|
ALL FOR THE LOW-LOW PRICE OF $143,997.98!
BUT WAIT! THERE'S MORE!
The PDP is fully upgradeable and customizable! If you would like YOUR PDP to shoot EVEN FASTER and EVEN HARDER, mail us a hefty quantity of steel scraps, hyper-explosive chemicals, bacon, and $400,000. We'll send you the parts you need to EXPLODINATE THE BADDERTONS!™
CALL NOW and receive a complementary apple, valued at $0.89.
THIS DEAL WILL GO DOWN IN HISTORY!
Daniels Industries: We make things.™
* May also destroy your friends.
** Not a guarantee. We will not refund any money.